It's HAVE you cunts, not OF!

What is fucking wrong with people these days?

What simple, utterly elementary part of the English language can people increasingly not understand that compels them to write could of - would of - might of instead of could have - would have - might have?

I'll tell you what - fucking CRETINISM!!!

It is now creeping into every part of the internet like some hideous linguistic cancer. For all I know it may be infecting the written word outside of the worldwidewank, but as I am fortunate enough not to have to ever read anything written by a pleb offline, and as standards are (just) high enough for it not to have affected books, periodicals and newspapers (broadsheets anyway, I can't vouch for the tabloid mindrot read by proles), I cannot say.

I can understand the mechanics of the error - when spoken, especially given the slovenly inability of most people to open and close their fucking mouths properly and work their tongues with some vestigial memory of care and attention to detail, the h is usually dropped from have, and the word is further corrupted to sound like of.

But it's NOT actually of, is it? As even the most peripheral encounter with the English language should underscore, as even the most moronic braindamaged dribbling cabbage of twenty years ago would surely have appreciated, have is not fucking of!!!

Are teachers not addressing this in schools? And if not, why not? If I taught in a school and caught some hideous greasy pimply little shit writing of instead of have I would beat the ignorant fucker to within an inch of his life. Never mind bringing back corporal punishment in schools, I'd bring in capital punishment for that particular crime.

Honestly, it makes me so angry I feel the day Western Anglophone civilisation falls and the Chinese take over the world can't come soon enough.

That'd learn us.