IN DISGRACEFUL SCENES not witnessed since records began (around sixteen years ago) a number of Israelite jobseekers providing free labour on the Great Pyramid Project in exchange for not being thrown to the crocodiles in the Nile were left to sleep overnight in the open air in the shadow of the Sphinx.
Eamonn Hotep, in charge of the building work, attempted to defend what happened by claiming that accommodation was being prepared for the Israelites in the form of holes being dug in the ground, but that the chariot-drivers delivering the jobseekers left early. Mr Hotep said, “Those feckin’ chariot-drivers should have waited for the holes to be finished but they buggered off, to be sure! I even heard one of them eejits with me own two ears mutter that he didn’t want to be hanging around south of the Nile at this time of night, so he did!”
One Israelite worker agreed to speak on condition of anonymity. Moses (not his real name) told us, “You call this accommodation? This I wouldn’t even inflict on a scarab beetle! Oy, my life…”
Pharaoh Tutancameron brushed off criticism and proclaimed, “Construction of the Great Pyramid is a vital infrastructure project necessary to stimulate the Egyptian economy which, I need hardly remind you, is in the worst recession since records began sixteen years ago! This is entirely due to the previous Dynasty’s massive overspending on luxuries such as holes in the ground for Israelites to sleep in, as well as chaos in the Sumerian Economic Zone. It is certainly not at all connected with the policies of my Chancellor, Ozyborndias. Now get out before I set the crocodiles on you.”
Pharaoh Tutancameron responds to criticism
