Roy Ters: Monday 21 May 2012, 13:47 BST
GERMANY’S CHANCELLOR ANGELA MERKEL is seen as ‘so dull, so inert’ that Greeks, blaming her inaction for deepening their nation’s debt crisis, are openly praying for the rise of a new Hitler to inject a sense of urgency into the Euro Crisis debate.
Greece’s President Karolos Papoulias said, “Although we resent the Germans for failing to act in the present emergency, they are now so dull and grey we simply cannot work up the hatred necessary to galvanise us into doing anything, which is why no party won in the recent elections. We need a real enemy, so Chancellor Merkel should do the decent thing and either go completely bonkers herself and bomb Warsaw, or step down for a proper nutter to take her place. Say what you like about Hitler: he may have been two olives short of a salad but he got things done.”
Such sentiments are not confined to debt-felched Greece. Across Europe, governments have been lulled into a despairing torpor by Germany’s force of tedium and are now daring to think the unthinkable: Germany needs to live up to its historical obligations by going off the deep-end and unifying Europe by starting another massive war.
Britain’s Prime Minster, David Cameron, admitted that, “What we really need to get out of this mess is a new war close to home. For too long under Labour we got involved in wars far away and it’s very hard to get the cannon-fodder, sorry, I mean public, really enthusiastic when all you’re doing is dropping bombs from a great height on Johnny Arab.”
Backing Mr Cameron, France’s new President, Francois Hollande, stated, “The French people will not be happy until we hear the reassuring sound of German troops goose-stepping down the Champs Elysee. Already the hospitality sector has seen an economic boost as hoteliers spruce up their rooms for the expected German influx. Vive la Guerre!”
US President Barack Obama pledged to maintain America’s customary historical role by staying out of any European war until the combatant nations have almost completely destroyed each other, before stepping in at the last minute and claiming all the credit for the inevitable Allied victory.
